“Myq Kaplan started out life very young, as a baby. As time passed, he grew older, eventually becoming a much older baby.
Along the way, he started doing stand-up comedy. Then he kept doing it. Now he still does it. Myq has garnered acclaim at the DC Comedy Fest and the Seattle Comedy Competition (and other more boring places!), won Boston University’s Funniest Student contest (it’s a large school!), was a finalist in the Boston Comedy Festival and Comedy Central’s Open Mic Fights (both very fancy!), and even came in third place in the entire country on the National French Exam in high school (totally irrelevant!).
He’s funny, he’s smart, he’s vegan, and he writes long autobiographical pieces… what else could you ask for (other than SHORT autobiographical pieces)?
PS And don’t worry… he’s forgotten most of the French he learned since high school, so he’s a good American. Please elect Myq Kaplan the first president of the United States who wasn’t even running.”
